Nov 29, 2024
Woke up to the alarm of my phone. It’s 6:05am, Thanksgiving day morning. Still lying on my bed, I pulled out my phone from under the pillow and with half conscious mind, I scanned through the messages. As usual, like all the previous years, I thought of going to get ready and go to market in order to get the few last minute things. Wait, where is the list? I see no message. Is it not thanksgiving today? I asked myself.
It is indeed, Thursday, Nov 28, 2024. By then, I was fully awake and in my complete sense, I realized that this is not the usual Thanksgiving day, rather an unusual one, first one of its kind since I could remember. It has been almost two months, since that fateful day when the divorce paper was served, long hard two months. My spouse and kids have moved out since. It felt really strange and this perhaps is only the beginning, I thought.
I pulled myself out of bed, completed the usual morning rituals. It was still early, morning sun has not broken out. It has been cold and rainy of late, in the last few days. I decided to go back to bed and tuck under the blanket. Felt cozy. With a long day ahead, was not sure how to plan it out. These days I’ve been spending some time writing. It had been a task pending for long time. I was always fond of writing, that is when I feel my mind is liberated, my inner feeling pours out. Decided to spend some time writing about this day and take the day as it comes. I started to reflect back and remember all previous Thanksgiving as far back as I could.
For me, living in a foreign land, now called home for good 30+ years, time around Thanksgiving was always favorite time of the year. This is when I feel relaxed and ready to enjoy the beautiful nature all around. All these years, since coming to this country alone, followed by my marriage and raising our two kids into their teens with my other half, it had been blessings, up until now. Thanksgiving, for me and us, was about cooking, sitting around dining table with family and friends, remembering the good days and be thankful about the fortunate life we have. There was not much to complain about.
But then, what do I do this year? How do I celebrate the ill fated twist of my life this year? What can I be possibly thankful for? Fond memories from the past are serving me both blessings and tortures. Have not seen my kids almost for two months except for two times. We, the parents, are no longer in talking terms, as enforced by legal proceedings. While law and order is taking care of the norms, it is also destroying the fabrics of mutual respects and feelings, necessary for the long term well being of whatever was left of our relationship or at least for the sake of the kids. What was the need for that, I ask again. I’m going through an emotional upheaval. I’m still searching for the real reason behind all these, with the hope, someday, I’ll have the answer. All the actions during the last two months do not add up to the reason of our separation, reason I was told appears to be make-believe. For now, I’m telling myself to stay calm and be positive.
It is almost 9am, nice and sunny outside. My emotional storm has calmed down a bit. Received couple calls from my two extended family members and that helped out a bit too. Got out of my bed and started engaging myself in the regular day-to-day activities. I told myself today is going to be just another day, just like any other days. To help myself, messaged my kids a happy Thanksgiving wish and hoped to get past the special importance of the day. I’m a sports fan and thank god, there are good sports program on TV during this time of the year. So, between watching sports and other regular activities for the day, I tried to find the minimum necessary outlet, to divert my mind, for the day. By now, I was feeling a bit better compared to when I woke up in the morning. Hoping to ride this good feeling and get through the rest of the day. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Would love to hear your comment, and perhaps help myself.